but, anyway, i guess i wanna let you guys know that i will take some time off from buznett and maybe instant messasing (im always in that these days). I have to go somewhere, i dont know for how long..i need to do something that i should have done long time ago. I think this is the time i need to do it. Its not that i dont want to continue being in here, but i dont think they will allow me to get online or using internet at all....i wanted to, but you know..i have to obey them somehow..im pretty sure about it..

i guess, i will only talk to people who close to me, im pretty sure that they will allow me to bring my cellphone along..so, if you guys have my number, i'll probably talk to you..thats a sure thing...:)..but, i never give them to anyone especially,,uummm you know :)

this thing could lasts a month, 4 months..a year..i dont know. but, i'll try to send email to some ppl that always send me email.you know who you are :)...i'll write my email address for you who forget my email somehow when im done..

dont worry guys, im not going to rehab, prison or anything like it...its just i need some momment to set my life back in the place it used to be...

anyway, i've told my girlfriends to get online for me if she got time.she's online sometime next to me when im online..if you guys got a weird message or note, she wrote that!...im gonna miss her so much for sure...and of course you guys too...all of you guys whether the one who always send me note...you guys who added me, but never talk to me...and you, who read this journal now...

i will come back, so....peace out!!! whatever

diedraangel@yahoo.com
diedraangel@gmail.com

life!..at least right now, i feel a lot better..yesterday was really a mess for me...everything went wrong and i almost got myself run by a car yesterday on my way home...

actually..the thing is...i feel like i've let down everyone all these while, my entire life...the ppl close to me i mean...and i just realised that lately....when i'm alone...i thought i always got my friends...i always got the feelings that im living in a very interesting and fun life..i always get what i want......gotta admit that, i never feel alone until now..

i've done and said things about ppl, even to my best friends in my entire life...bad things .. and i feel fun doing that...and the stupid thing is..I DONT EVEN REALISE THAT ITS A BAD THING TO DO...you should never do that cos it will hurt someone...in my case everyone!....if i could, i wish i could...i will turn back time and redo everything....i will never do or say anything bad at all..BUT, ITS ALL TOO LATE NOW ..:(

everything went really bad to badest with my life right now....everyhting went really wrong...everything i do..or go...it ended up bad...my life is not fun anymore...i dont need my friends to say that to me...i realise it myself...

i wanna change myself now..my life..eveyrything before it too late...the hard thing is, i dont know how...how i'm gonna do that..i try to imagine that when i hungup with my friends, i'm a completely a different person...can we call that a fake!...but, dont worry..i'll figure it out somehow...

but still, i really feel i've done a lot of bad things and let everyone down all these while...it will never go away...i always got that guilt feeling inside of me for a very long time.... i never say sorry to ppl, i mean sincerely....that should explain how bad i am...

i guess...we should believe that..when you do or say bad things to ppl, it will actually turn back straight to you...even harder....

i'm glad i realise it now....but, im scared its too late ow...

I miss my mum now...:(

Hey, this is for some of you guys who seem dont know anything about the girl in the band called paramore (never heard of it?..poor!..)....

The lead singer of Fueled By Ramen band, Paramore.
She just turned 19.
Her birthday is December 27, 1988.
She lived in Meridian, Mississippi until she was thirteen, then moved to Franklin, Tennessee.
She met two of her band mates in school.
Her hair is naturally blonde, but she often dyes in red.
She had a tough time growning up.
She was emotionaly and phyically abused by her stepfather growing up.
She can also play the Guitar.
She is short.
She likes putting makeup on for her the bands shows, because(as she puts it) she has to be one of the guys most of the time, so she likes feeling all girly when they perform.

there you go.....wanna know more, like her name or anything.....google for it!..like i did long time ago...geeshhh...

p/s..this go to most of my friends.....real world friends..who really.....really...extremely..poor!!!...(i'm sooooo shame...gosh!)..

:(

i got no immune system whatsover right now......:(
so, huh, usually when got flu, i'm gonna be very mean to everyone...that's include you!....simply because i'm not in the mood to do anything what so ever!!!what have you!

i'm not gonna be really active in here (like i am active all these while!).....if you want to talk or i've promised to do something, sooooo sorry...cos i have to break it and ignore everyting i've said or promised....sincere apologise..:(

anyway, anything just....be mad at me, okay ppl?...and i'll probably gonna be okay next week...dont wish me get well soon, just.....huh, anything...

signing out rockstars!!!!!!!!!!!

p/s is this a journal?..yeah, i guess..the worse journal ever in buzznet!!!

i just wanna say sorry to all ppl who dropped me note, message, email or anything at all because i dont really have time to reply to it...so sorry..Since new year, i've been bombarded with too many work and stuffs and stupid deadline to deal with...and i really dont have much time...:(....i havent got any nice sleep since last week..:(, (i'm like really shitty right now!!)....:(

but, i'll try my very best to come here (buzznet) and reply to anything you guys sent me...my promise :),..but, i really fell bad cos i got almost 40 notes this morning unanswered.....i'll try to answer it by today.....

hey, erm....i need to say somehting too, but..well....maybe later!!!!..:)

Kerrang! Readers Poll

Kerrang's Readers Poll just came out and Paramore won BEST NEW BAND (Over Panic, Aiden, Bring Me The Horizon and Enter Shikari). Hayley was also named #2 in the Sexiest Female category haha, just behind Amy Lee of Evanescence.

Thanks to Hayley for scanning this for us, you can read the full thing HERE.(http://paramorefans.com/)

Congrats Paramore!!

the article's form http://paramorefans.com/

i'm happy now...something to make me smile for the rest of the day!!!yay!!

http://paramorefans.com/photos/albums/userpics/normal_e4f2803444.jpg

its really gets on my nerves now.....so, to everyone..you know who you are..please forgive me for not replying to your notes or messages..its not my fault!...but i will take the blame!..:(..

 P/S - 'DIEDRA WILL BE RIGHT BACK SHORTLY'..more like it! :)

Anyway, just let me keep thinking and dont bother to worry about it...:), and happy holloween everyone!